CELEBRATING 70 YEARS! : JOAN DOES GLAMOUR .. SEPTEMBER FILMS .. UK .. 2009 ..

 

Done & Dusted / September Films

Presents

JOAN DOES GLAMOUR ..

Hossted by

JOAN COLLINS

Executive Producers - SUSAN L. MAXWELL & PETER DAVEY

Produced & Directed by LYN ROWETT

(C) 2009 .. 55mins ..

Hollywood Glamour comes to Plymouth when Joan Collins is given the task of advising three generations of the Littlefair Family, daughter , mother and grandmother on improving their clothes and makeup for the daughters 16th birthday party...

Joan's results on Mary, Holli and Eileen..

Emma Sibbles

Tue 13 Oct 2009

We should have seen it coming when Joan Collins popped up at London fashion week last month – most notably at hip, young designer Christopher Kane's show. She wasn't just there to wrestle with a new breed of shoulder pads. She was there in her new entity as saviour of British fashion. She's one of many (Trinny and Susannah, Lisa Butcher and Mica Paris, and, of course, Gok Wan) in a long line of celebrities to manhandle the great British public for their own publicity, or the good of all mankind, whichever way you want to look at it.

The premise for ITV's latest makeover show, Joan Does Glamour, is basically this: Joan Collins is glamorous. British women used to be glamorous but then they got "muffin tops and jelly bellies". So it's JC to the rescue. 

Saint Joan is here to help the three generations of the Littlefair family. Eileen, the nan, prefers tracksuits to dresses and hasn't worn heels for over 40 years. (She shows us her beauty kit, which consists of a razor, a bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap. Pass JC the smelling salts.) Mary, Eileen's daughter, favours "fleeces over fashion" but spends all day walking her dogs, so that seems pretty sensible to me. And then there's Holli, the shy and soon to be 16-year-old who has lost some confidence. All three of them want to look great for Holli's birthday party – and there are two weeks to go.

Collins is brilliantly bitchy, but that's not really how these shows work , she's very funny, camp and droll.  In Sainsbury's with her glamour proteges, she starts berating random shoppers for their clothes choices. "Bloody hell Collins," I want to shout, "They're doing the weekly shop, not walking a red carpet. Leave them alone."

She asks one woman if she moisturises. "Really?" she queries. "Well you need to do it a bit more." It's like a glamour hit and run. She sidles away before the startled woman can drop-kick her into the frozen peas. Run, Collins, run. Strutting through New Look, she picks up a brightly coloured kaftan. "I'd wear this in St Tropez," she says, just to let everyone know she's not like them.

After surviving the shopping trip (just) the Littlefairs are taught how to do their makeup – and then it's the night of the party. Their family and friends gasp and cry. Joan does not. She tells them off for ruining their makeup.

There was hope that this special may pave the way for a regular series in which Joan could travel around Britain, dispensing her words of wisdom and her knowledge of style and glamour.. However it was not commisioned and this is just a one off show.. However it did get a dvd release in 2018 but this is now deleted.. You can see the sleeve below...