Sunday, June 27, 2021

PRESS UPDATE : THE DAILY MAIL .. MY COVID HELL! .. JUNE 27TH 2021 ..


 

My hell at the hands of the Covid Stasi: Endless surveillance, constant phone calls... after her FIFTH quarantine, doyenne of stage and screen DAME JOAN COLLINS issues a cry of rage


Oh, no! Not again!’ I wailed as the phone rang and a strange, muffled voice announced: ‘This is your Covid Quarantine Officer. I’m at the door.’

Percy and I were up in our attic sorting through stuff and, though we scrambled hastily down the steps, didn’t get to the intercom in time.

We were grateful the man hadn’t left in a fit of pique and reported us to the Stasi because we weren’t standing by the door, anxiously awaiting his arrival.

When I picked up the intercom, I saw a young man in the video wearing what looked like a Metallica T-shirt and hoodie. He came up, asked my husband if he was who he was, asked to see his passport, flicked through his iPhone and left.

Throughout all this we complied meekly, not once challenging him to show his credentials, and smiled obsequiously for fear of incurring his wrath.

An hour later the phone rang, but we didn’t get to it in time. The missed caller list showed it was the by-now familiar ‘0300’ number the ‘Covid SS’ use.

It was pointless calling back, we had learned during our last confinement, because it only reaches a recorded message that ominously states you were called and will be called again. When? No one knows. ‘No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!’

‘I hope they don’t think we’ve gone out?’ I said fearfully, having heard about a friend who was fined £1,000 for popping out to walk the dog at 6am. Her husband was fined £10,000 for saying she was in bed!

At 4pm another call came. This time a schoolmaster’s voice demanded my year of birth (something which rankles me at the best of times) and read a list of everyone who would be listening to the recording of our conversation.

An Uzi-like burst of questions followed: ‘Did I receive my test? Who did I get the test from? What was the result?’

I have been double-jabbed for months now. I have quarantined four times since October and have tested negative about 30 times. I’m working because the bills haven’t given a hoot about the pandemic since it began.

That work is where I can find it, so if that means I must travel, then I do, which means I must test, test, test and quarantine, quarantine, quarantine. And this means I am called, called, called.


Joan in LA April 2021

During my quarantine in May, I received calls at the rate of three a day for five days — double that for my husband. That’s a lot of phone answering.

And that’s before worrying about being ‘grassed up’ by your neighbour. As regards this particular concern, fortunately I live in an area of London that is populated (or rather un-populated) by Chinese, Russian and Middle Eastern oligarchs who have parked their money in London real estate before their governments rip it out their cold, dead fingers.

During the Clap For Carers, my husband and I went outside with our pots and pans only to be greeted by a dog barking indignantly about being awoken from its nap. I hope it’s being fed.

How much longer is this going to continue? How long ago, it seems, were those Halcyon days of hope when our dear leader announced, in mid-April of 2020, that this lockdown would continue for two more months, until June! We were horrified; it was impossible, it was too harsh.

Well, that was pie in the sky compared to now. We’ve been fed false promises, great expectations and downright lies. Why were we promised freedom, yet our movements are still restricted?

I can’t help feeling resentful that I was meekly in quarantine when I discovered that our ex-Health Secretary Matt Hancock broke his own social-distancing rules to get to grips with his aide Gina Coladangelo in his office.

I can’t help feeling aggrieved that we’re making plans for thousands of fans and football fat cats travelling for the Euro finals when I can’t go to the grocery store.

So many rights that our democratic Britain has for centuries upheld — free movement, privacy, a life free from fear and persecution — have been eroded by this pandemic. So be it: in a crisis you expect certain sacrifices.

But there comes a time when the tide turns. Pandemics come and go, viruses burn out or mutate until they’re harmless, but democratic rights, for which people have fought hard for centuries, were given over in a nanosecond of fear and panic.

Now that more than 80 per cent of adults in the UK have coronavirus antibodies, why must we declare if our travel is ‘essential’?

The Prime Minister said last year the vaccination programme was the ‘cavalry’ coming to our rescue, yet now he only ‘thinks’ a double jab will open the door to foreign holidays without quarantine.

He gives hints and qualified promises that have been followed by so many broken promises that we cannot believe him any more.

And horrid Angela Merkel doesn’t seem to want freedom. Not a month ago I was supposed to appear on a German TV show when the borders were shut with a day’s notice.

Joan at Burlington Arcade Dec 2020

No consideration was given to the fact that I was fully vaccinated, tested negative the day before and only going for 24 hours. Now she is trying to rally the rest of the 27 member states to impose restrictions on the UK.

Most people on our fair isle have been as compliant as a six-year-old, with their tongues hanging out expectantly for a treat only to have it taken away by a wicked uncle.

I was extremely upset just before Christmas. My daughter Tara and I had been in talks to have a three-day celebration at her house in the country.

We had all overdone it in the gift department and were so excited to see each other after five months.

Boris had promised we could have a ‘merry little Christmas’ if we kept our gatherings small.

So, what did he do, once again? Break that sacred promise and make everyone stay at home, family-less, over Christmas. I was gutted.

Similarly, June 21, ‘Freedom Day’, came and went with another presentation of flowcharts and the usual soundbites: ‘Led by the science’; ‘data’; blah, blah, blah.

The carrot of a July 19 opening was promised, but now it’s uncertain, so no one can make plans to go abroad. And forget about the incorrectly termed staycations.

Several friends have told me it’s practically impossible to find a good hotel in any British seaside resort now.

Meanwhile, in France and Spain, tourist spots are begging for visitors after months of low attendance and haemorrhaging money.

But America stayed open, at least partially so. Florida even managed to have the fewest restrictions and the most success during the darkest days of the pandemic.

As of June 15, practically all rules have been lifted. Clubs, pubs, theatres, restaurants are all business as usual.

Yet in the UK, where we have a much better vaccine record, we remain constrained. My American friends are amazed we are still obeying such tough restrictions.

Ditto France, where antibody prevalence is nowhere close to ours and the sunny beaches of the Riviera are thronging with (mostly German and Belgian) tourists and everything looks normal.

No multiple-metre rule, no mask wearing outdoors and Gallic hugs and kisses abounding.

What family of four can plan a summer holiday when they won’t know if they can go until summer is almost over? And how can they afford the astronomical fees of all the tests needed?

In France, where only a lateral flow test is required, testing kits are available at pharmacies. It’s 15 minutes of suspense, as opposed to 24 to 48 hours until the results come back from a PCR.

In this, my fifth quarantine, I feel trapped, as if in prison for a crime I didn’t commit, with the Covid warden threatening to call or visit at all hours. On top of which our building is covered in workmen and scaffolding, so there is hardly any light or privacy.

It’s all a joke. The amount of money this Government has wasted checking that doubly vaccinated people are staying in their homes is obscene.

Stop promising rewards and then cancelling them, Boris! It’s got to stop.

Anyone with a brain knows Covid ain’t going to go away and that we need to live like free human beings again, and not frightened little mice. No offence intended to the rodent community.

CELEBRATING 70 YEARS! : GAME FOR VULTURES .. COLUMBIA PICTURES .. UK 1979 ..


 COLUMBIA PICTURES

Presents

GAME FOR VULTURES

RICHARD HARRIS as David Swansey
RICHARD ROUNDTREE as Gideon Marunga
JOAN COLLINS as Nicolle
RAY MILLAND as Colonel Brettle
DENHOLM ELLIOTT as Raglan Thistle 
SVEN BERTIL TAUBE as Larry Prescott
KEN GAMPU as Sixpence
TONY OSOBA as Daniel Batton
NEIL HALLETT as Tony Knight
MARK SINGLETON as Sir Benjamin Peckover

Assistant Director Gus Agosti
Edited by Peter Tanner
Art Director/Herbert Smith
Director of Photographer - Alex Thompson
   Music by Tony Duhig and Jon Field
      Screenplay by Philip Baird
          From the Novel by Michael Hartman
             Produced by Hazel Adair
                Directed by James Fargo

(c) 1979 COLUMBIA  106 MINS RATED 15

Joan with Richard Harris


David Swansey helps in the fight against the popular front by smuggling helicopters into Rhodesia. His mission then takes a dangerous turn as the African guerilla warfare escalates, then the violence and bloodshed engulfs everyone involved. Swansey teams up with the freedom figher Gideon Marunga, together they risk life and limb to win in the Games of Vultures!




This forgotten film was one of the last international co-productions and featured a great cast, however the script was uneven and the film hard to follow at times. The budget for the film was around $5 milion.  Joan only appears in a few scenes and she filmed this before 'The Stud'. Joan took many parts around this time to put food on the table and pay her children's school fees. It was of course 'The Stud' which put her back on the entertainment map, by time 'Game For Vultures', finally got a release in the UK, she was about to make 'The Bitch'..

Joan on set with daughter Katy


There is little info on this production, however I asked Richard Roundtree recently about the film, he was surprised anyone even remembered it. He enjoyed the experience as part of it was filmed in South Africa and he remembered a scene with veteran Ray Milland, whom he admired. He did recall an incident when he went to buy some beer in a store and that time there was racial segregation and white and black had seperate entrances and Richard was told to use the black entrance!  Richard recalled ..

Richard Roundtree
'' It was an experience thats for sure! I can say I was on a frollercoaster for a minute there. I had all three emotions surging through me. But I did not think it was worth a big scene. So I just laughed it off! But it wasn't the hah-hah funny kind of laugh!''


80's USA Video Poster



The film was due to have it's premiere in Johannesberg but then it was banned as the government cited the film as a threat to state security! The director James Fargo commented at the time..

'' We could not film in Rhodesia because firstly we would have been sanction busting. Secondly there are very real black guerrillas in the bush in Rhodesia and we would have a real security problem with unwanted extra's wandering in with real bullets! It's a movie in which there are no real bad guys or good guys, nobody really wins in the end and everybody loses like in the real Rhodesia''

Joan takes a break from filming with Richard Harris

The film was not a box office hit but it did do well on video in the 80's and has been released on dvd over the years.. However it was last released on dvd in 2006 frpm Mosaic and this release is not currently available.. Hopefully a blu-ray will be released at some stage...

2006 Dvd cover..




Saturday, June 26, 2021

CELEBRATING 70 YEARS! : TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED - NECK .. ANGLIA TELEVISION .. UK 1979 ..


 ANGLIA TELEVISION

 Presents

TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED

Introduced by ROALD DAHL

NECK

( Season 1 - Episode 6 )

Starring

JOAN COLLINS as Lady Natalia Turton
MICHAEL ALDRIDGE as Sir Basil Turton 
SIR JOHN GIELGUD as Jelks 
PETER BOWLES as Major Jack Haddock 
CARMEN SILVERA as Carmen La Rosa 
PAUL HERZBERG as John Bannister

Story by Roald Dahl ..... Teleplay by Robin Chapman ...  Music By Ron Granier .. 
  Produced by John Rosenberg ... Executive Producer .. Sir John Woolf ..
 Directed by Christopher Miles ..


Rare signed cast photo..

Lady Turton rules the roost of her husbands publishing empire, not to mention their country mansion..While Sir Basil has an eye for art, Lady Natalia has an eye for young men! But when Sir Basil has to make a choice, his wife or his art...who will get the axe? When it comes to the chop...who will get it in the Neck!! 


This now classic mystery/suspense series ran for nine seasons from 1979 to 1988 and attracted a high caliber of guests.. This episode was the first of three, that Joan filmed , "Neck" been the most remembered. The series first began with introductions by celebrated writer Roald Dahl, whose stories featured in the early episodes. Later on the series featured stories by different authors and Dahl no longer introduced the series...


Joan on set with director Christopher Miles


Joan had filmed the highly rated Noel Coward adaptation "Fallen Angels" for Anglia and it's head Sir John Woolf asked Joan if she would like to appear. She was more than delighted to take the role and even more so with the casting of one of her favourite actors Sir John Gielgud...John played the crafty old butler Jelks, to Joan's typical bitchy maneater Lady Turton.. Joan loved working with him and was intrigued by his sharp wit and tales of theater-land.. Sir John was equally enamored with Joan as he commented...

" Joan is a very professional actress and we got along extremely well together, in fact she was quite perfect in the part..of course people expected some kind of cataclysmic happening with Joan and I working together.."


Joan with Paul Herzberg
Both Joan and John are excellent in the episode, incidentally  Michael Aldridge who plays the diddering Sir Basil also appeared with Joan in "Fallen Angels" and in the theatre production 'The Last Of Mrs Cheyney'.. The episode was directed by Christopher Miles who would team up again with Joan for the 1998 film "The Clandestine Marriage"... 
Thankfully the series is often repeated and is widely available on dvd.. The most recent and complete
release is the 19 disc set from Network which also includes Joan's two other episodes 'Georgy Porgy ' & 'A Girl Cant Always Have Everything' .. You can order at the following link!








Friday, June 25, 2021

CELEBRATING 70 YEARS! : ZERO TO SIXTY .. FIRST ARTISTS RELEASING .. USA 1978 ..


 FIRST ARTISTS RELEASING

Presents
A KBCO PRODUCTION

ZERO TO SIXTY

STARRING
DARREN MCGAVIN as Michael Nolan
JOAN COLLINS as Gloria Martine
SYLVIA MILES as Flo Ames
DENISE NICKERSON as Larry Wilde
THE HUDSON BROTHERS as Eddie / Harry / Sammy
VITO SCOTTI as Benny
LORRAINE GARY as Billy John 
DAVID HUDDLESTON as Harold Finch
MONICA LEWIS as Aunt Clara
GORDON MACRAE as Officer Joe
DICK MARTIN as Arthur Dunking
LYLE WAGGONER as Gay Bartender
FRANCINE YORK as Mrs Finch

 Art Director - James William Newport
     Edited by Dann Cahn / Jack Peluso
       Music by John Beal
         Director of Photography - Donald H Birnkrant
           Screenplay by W.Lyle Richardson
            From a Story by Judith Bustany & Peg Shirley
              Produced by Kathie Browne
                 Directed by Don Weis
(c) 1978  87 mins  color .. Rated AA


Michael Nolan is finding life hard, what with a greedy ex-wife, who with the aid of his own crooked lawyer, has just swindled a large alimony payment from him. Tired and broke, all he has left is his fancy new car, but when he sees a teenage tearaway stealing it, thus begins a series of madcap adventures! Gaining a job in the reposession buisness, the chase is on for the elusive Gloria Martine!! When your job is at stake, the price is high... It's a hard drive on a Zero To Sixty!!!



This 1978 action comedy features Joan as the elusive Gloria Martine, who spends most of the film running from one place to another, trying to evade Darren McGavin, who is trying to repossess her car. Joan no doubt glad of the work, this was made just before 'The Stud' hit box office gold. The film's star Darren McGavin wrote the screenplay under the name W Lyle Richardson and his wife Katherine Browne produced the film. So all in all a labour of love for the star couple. The film however only got a limited release and was heavily re-edited by First Artists which gives the film a disjointed look.



 It does have an interesting cast, including the late "Willy Wonka" star Denise Nickerson, who played Violet in the 1971 classic, here she was sixteen and this is her last film appearance.Also appearing is 'Rowan and Martin's Laugh In's' Dick Martin, 'Jaws' star Lorraine Gary and veteran star of 'Oklahoma' Gordon MacRae. It was however the first film for popular film/tv composer John Beal, who is now the top movie trailer soundtrack composer.


Although the film has barely a plot, it is still a fun ride and Joan is on top form as the elusive Gloria who darts from one locale to another in a variety of ghastly wigs! The film was popular on video in the 80s and has so far only got a limited dvd release from MGM under their Limited Edition Collection label.. This edition is not currently available, but copies can be bought from Amazon at the following link!   BUY ZERO TO SIXTY ON DVD HERE!



Joan during filming on set..

Spanish video promo


Joan gets ready for action!


Sunday, June 20, 2021

CELEBRATING 70 YEARS! : THE STUD .. BRENT WALKER .. UK 1978 ..




 BRENT WALKER

Presents

THE STUD

Starring
JOAN COLLINS as Fontaine Khalad
OLIVER TOBIAS as Tony Blake
SUE LLOYD as Vanessa Grant
MARK BURNS as Leonard Grant
DOUG FISHER as Sammy
WALTER GOTELL as Benjamin Khaled
EMMA JACOBS as Alex
TONY ALYN as Hal
PETER LUKAS as Ian Thane
NATALIE OGLE as Mandy
JOHN CONTEH / Himself
BILLY WALKER / Himself
JOHNNY GOLD / Himself
PAT 'Bubbles' HARMSWORTH / Herself
CONSTANTINE GREGORY as Lord Newton
SARAH LAWSON as Anne Khaled
JEREMY CHILD as Lawyer
PETER DENNIS as Marc
CHRIS JAGGER as Rock Star
MINAH BIRD as Molly
HILDA FENEMORE as Tony's Mother
BERNARD STONE as Tony's Father
PETER BOURKE as Gordon

Assistant Director - Vincent Winter
     Director of Photography - Peter Hannan
       Original Music by Biddu
        Screenplay by Jackie Collins
         From The Novel 'The Stud' by Jackie Collins
           Edited by David Campling
             Executive Producer - Oscar Lerman
               Produced by Ronald S Kass
                  Directed by Quentin Masters

(c) 1978  BRENT WALKER  90 MINS


Tony Blake runs a fashionable nightclub 'Hobo'... For it's rich owners the Khaled's. For Tony, managing the club, is just one of his many talents, no one knows this better than Fontaine Khaled! Can Tony keep up the good work, keep his Lady Boss satisfied! When he sets his sights on the boss's daughter, he soon learns, it never pays to mix business with pleasure! It's tough been on top for The Stud!!


'The Stud', although rejected by most of the major studios, turned out to be the most successful films of 1978. It proved to be a turning point in Joan's career, putting her back on the entertainment map. Shot on a low budget, in three weeks, it made over ten million pounds, spawning a platinum selling album. It took Joan two years to get the project off the ground. But fate was on her side at the Cannes film festival, where she was promoting a film she detested 'Empire Of The Ants'. She met George Walker, who ran the successful Brent Walker film group in England, who thought the script had potential to make some money at the box office. The film was set to go into production with Welsh superstar Tom Jones in the title role. However Tom had second thoughts as he felt uncomfortable with the racier moments in the film. The role eventually went to Swiss born actor Oliver Tobias, who now seems perfect in the role.
 Oliver recalled...

" In those days films like 'The Stud', were a real eyeopener! The director and I reworked the script. Jackie Collins must have been delighted, because we gave it humour. I got on very well with Joan during filming. The Collins sisters are good sorts, very professional and hard working. Joan still works hard, but back then I did not know her from Adam. I admired her at that time. The role was her big comeback."

Joan with Oliver Tobias & George Walker

The film was based on Jackie's best selling novel, Joan was thrilled when Jackie agreed to give her the rights to film the book. Jackie's husband Oscar Lerman and Joan's then husband Ron Kass, were the film's producers. Jackie had hoped the film would be erotic as opposed to rude, she was more than surprised at the amount of nudity which ended up in the final cut. But she was delighted that the film was a hugh success and that it relaunched Joan's career. The film's co-star sixties siren Sue Lloyd recalled..

"Before I did 'The Stud' offers of work were beginning to flag, I was glad that I had a job on a friends silver stall in Portobello Road. Then out of the blue Joan rang me.  She was very excited about a project they were putting together. Apparently Jackie, who'd long since given up acting in favour of writing, had written a raunchy novel called 'The Stud' and Joan and Ron wanted to make it into a film. Joan was going to star in it and there would be a role for me if I was interested. But I didn't get too excited at that point. Making movies can be a very disappointing business, so many promising projects fizzle out long before they ever see the inside of a studio, let alone reach the big screen! Yet against all the odds the film materialized and went on to be the best selling British made film for many years. Joan became a bigger star than she'd ever been in her youth. Oliver Tobias, the 'Stud', went from previously almost unknown to major hearthrob. I  was suddenly flooded with film and TV offers. There was alot of nudity in 'The Stud', this did not worry me , I'd been going topless in the South of France for years. Joan however was uneasy about one major 
in which she had to sit on a swing above a swimming pool, wearing nothing but black lace panties, stockings and suspenders. As the scene drew closer, I could see Joan getting more and more nervous. We were shooting at The Sanctuary, an exotic leisure club in London's Covent Garden, before the scene began, I took Joan around the local bars for a couple of relaxing drinks to loosen her up! However we were too wound up to eat, with all those hostelries, passer by's might have been surprised to notice two heavily 
made up women swaying alarmingly down the streets of Covent Garden in the middle of the afternoon! We must have looked like a couple of drunks, however the scene went off without a hitch, adding another sensational strand to the film. My own big pool scene was more tricky. I played Vanessa, rich, spoiled wife of my old real life mate Mark Burns. In the story Vanessa invites the 'Stud', to her sumptuous house in Paris. There she pushes him fully clothed into her pool, leaps in after him, tears his clothes off!
It sounded straightforward enough, but when I jumped into the pool, my false nails shot off. I also had a fear of water, the combination of the torrent of an ornamental waterfall overhead and my feet flailing helplessly in search of the bottom was too much. I began to panic. I gasped, swallowing mouthfuls of water. The director thought I was improvizing the heat of passion and kept the cameras rolling. It was only when I managed to gulp a lungful of air and yelled, ' Get me out of her!'. that he realised I was in trouble. I was whisked smoothly from the pool, but the dialogue was kept in! It was very realistic, they reckoned."

Joan andcast in rehearsals at Tramp

Although the public loved the film, as expected the critics were harsh....

NEW YORK TIMES....
Oliver Tobias with Sue Lloyd & the girls!

" The Stud is an ugly, soft core, pornographic account of the rise and fall of a fancy man. It is illiterate and anti-erotic. The performances, Quentin Masters direction, the cinematography and editing are all amateurish!"

USA Lobby card

PEOPLE MAGAZINE...

"If you miss one movie this year, make sure this is it! Joan Collins, debasing herself, as few actresses of substance have done, plays a London nightclub owner, who is tired of her rich, older husband, that she throws her clothes off whenever the title character even gets near the neighbourhood!



Film Tie In Psperback

Joan was used to harsh critics, but the hostile write ups in the Daily Mail annoyed her...

"I felt The Mail, had a personal vendetta against the picture. It's almost a dirty word in this country, to have success, to work for it. It took two years to get the project off the ground. I schlepped it around everybody I knew, including Lew Grade, Nat Cohen and Sam Arkoff of American International. I got turned down right, left and centre! They all thought it was too 60's-ish, that nobody would be interested in the story of a disco. Only Brent Walker had the foresight to see it was a commercial film. I believed it had something the public would enjoy, I thought it could make a fortune. That is why I agreed to do things I don't usually do in films! But dozens of actresses have taken off their clothes, Glenda Jackson and Mia Farrow, to name but two! Would the film have been such a success if I hadn't? Who knows!"

Original Premiere Invite

Press Sheet
The film was one of the biggest selling video cassettes of the early 80's and most recently has done well on various DVD releases. It also has a great soundtrack of classic disco hits and original music by 70's hit producer Biddu. The album sold so well, Joan and Jackie were presented with platinum discs for high sales. A line of men's toiletries including a fragrance, were big sellers.. Certainly a film of it's time, but none the less a fun watch, with Joan on top form!

GREEK VIDEO SLEEVE



Page from original script


Scene as filmed from above script page Joan with Walter Gotell, Oliver Tobias & Peter Bourke



Original script page


Scene as filmed from above script page with Emma Jacobs & Oliver Tobias



THE STUD GREEK VIDEO PROMO


'The Stud' has been around for decades on video and was one of the first top selling home video's of the late seventies, early eighties and has been reissued many times on video and then on dvd.. Delighted to say the film has just been released on blu-ray in a limited edition box set along with it's hit sequel 'The Bitch'.. This edition come in a glorious slip case which includes the films on one disc, along with a selection of mini lobby cards and a double sided poster of the original uk artwork.. There is also a booklet and the disc includes many extras, the most exciting been for the first time on disc, Joan's 1980 video special.. You can also buy each film on a seperate disc in dvd format, not sure of extras on the individual discs as I only have the blu-ray.. You can order the latest dvd from Screenbound here!