The Cannes Film Festival was treated to a dash of old-school Hollywood glamour earlier this month when Dame Joan swept in to the opening ceremony looking stunning in a white couture gown and diamonds and accompanied by dashing French actor Laurent Lafitte. So it’s a surprise to discover that Dame Joan, a true Tinseltown legend for the past 70 years, can often be found ambling around the aisles of a supermarket disguised in an anorak and baseball cap, doing her weekly food shop.
One chap found out to his cost recently when he bumped into her with his trolley in M&S, leaving Joan fuming and her devoted husband Percy Gibson springing to her defence. ‘Fire came out of his eyes!’ exclaims Joan, ‘And I said, “No, no, no, no, don’t darling! It’s fine, I’m not hurt.” I was, actually! Only slightly. You don’t like to be bumped with a trolley!’
Joan has concluded that we Brits are no longer as polite as we were. She complains that ‘cyclists ride on the pavements in London now’ and several of her friends have had close calls with them. ‘My grandchildren and my nephews and nieces are all very polite and well-mannered, but I’ve seen some young people who are not. I’ve seen some old people who are not too, like the man who bumped into me: he was in his late 60s. I think there’s a culture: Great Britain used to be known for everybody being incredibly polite and well-mannered. I don’t think we’re as polite now. We’re not known for our politesse as much as people in Spain and Italy, for example.’
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| Joan on the Cannes Red Carpet |
Today over lunch at an exclusive London hotel, the actress looks none the worse for her encounter with a shopping cart, under a wide brimmed white hat, her dazzling eyes still have that twinkle in them....
‘This is my face, my original face, and it’s got lines and furrows and things,’ she says. ‘I don’t do any tweaks. Nothing. I would never use Mounjaro or any of those weight-loss shots because to me that’s putting poison in your body. I mean, it was bad enough having to take the Covid jab, which I didn’t want to do!’
What’s her opinion of women who use Botox and fillers? ‘It’s a fad, isn’t it? I think, “Why?” Youth is wasted on the young! You see a beautiful 25-year-old who wants to change her face – I find it really sad. And of course, as you get older it’s going to look worse and worse. I like people who look the way they are. And I do not like the trout pout.’
Would she ever go for a tattoo? An anchor on her arm perhaps, like Popeye? Or ‘Percy For Ever’?
‘No,’ says Joan firmly. “Somebody once said that putting a tattoo on a body is like putting a sticker on a Ferrari.’
She looks as glamorous as you’d expect today in a jacket by Veronica Beard over a Karl Lagerfeld sweater. ‘Glamorous from the waist up only, darling!’ she smiles. ‘I’m wearing workout trousers and rubber shoes.’ Well, she is a working woman. Her latest project is a new whodunnit, A Murder Between Friends, in which she plays ‘sharp and sassy showbiz sleuth’ Francesca Carlyle, presenter of a true-crime TV show.
Francesca has a home near a castle where a group of couples in their thirties are spending a boozy weekend – until murder ensues. The movie was shot outside Prague, says Joan, who is also one of the producers. It was written for her by her friend Mark Razzano and the cast includes Toby-alexander Smith, who played Gray Atkins in Eastenders. ‘Everybody who sees it really enjoys it because there are scary things in it, which I think audiences want to see,’ says Joan. ‘But it’s not too blood-curdling. There is some interesting sex! And there are some very good twists and turns.’
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| Joan as Francesca Carlyle in Murder Between Friends |
Unlike her Ms Carlyle, Joan is not a fan of true-crime stories. ‘I don’t want to see stories about real people who’ve suffered. I love those Agatha Christie films like The Mirror Crack’d, the one with Elizabeth Taylor and Kim Novak in 1980 – which I’d like to have been in! They put Kim Novak in instead! I like Angela Lansbury and Dexter. I loved Starsky And Hutch! I was so thrilled when I was asked to be in it.’ Would she have made a good detective in real life? ‘It’s amazing you’ve asked me that question! When I was a kid I used to listen to Dick Barton: Special Agent on the radio. I was glued to it every night. I said, “Mummy, I’m going to be a detective.” She said, “I thought you wanted to be an actress?” I said, “Well, an actress and a detective.” She said, “I don’t think that’s possible.”
‘For Christmas they gave me a detective set. It had special powder for taking fingerprints, a magnifying glass, a notebook and handcuffs. And I put the powder around to see if my younger sister Jackie had been going into my private closet.’ And had she? ‘Yes! She was about eight, I was 11 or 12.’
Bestselling author Jackie died in 2015 at the age of 77. Joan says she still misses her sister and raised a glass to her at a recent dinner attended by many of her family, which includes three children and four grandchildren, not to mention an army of godchildren, who range in age from one to 51. The younger members of the family call Joan ‘DJ’. Is that because she’s a whizz on the turntables? ‘No! It’s for Dame Joan.’ Is that what Percy calls her? ‘Percy has his pet name for me but I’m not going to tell you what it is. You have to have a certain amount of mystery, darling!’
Percy is 60, more than 30 years Joan's junior. Some wondered about the age gap when he became the actress’s fifth husband in 2002. ‘We’re coming up for our 25th wedding anniversary – can you believe it, our silver wedding anniversary! And I’m already planning it.’
They got to know each other when Joan was appearing in a play in the United States that Percy produced. ‘We found out we had so much in common. We both loved musical theatre and hated sports! We loved reading. We just loved the same things and we were on the same wavelength. And he’s the kindest, nicest, sweetest, most caring man. But that doesn’t mean he’s a wimp,’ adds Joan, citing her husband’s role in the trolley incident.
‘Percy and I are very much homebodies. We stay home and we have massive TV screens, including one in the bedroom.’ They go out to see friends, attend events linked to the charities Joan supports, and watch films. They have tickets for the new Michael Jackson biopic, Michael.
‘I liked Michael: every time I met him he’d come up to me and say, “Hello, do you know who I am? My name’s Michael,”’ says Joan, in a very passable impression of the King of Pop. ‘And I’d say, “I know who you are, I’ve met you three times before!” The first time was when he came to the set of Dynasty with his sister. He said, “I’m such a huge fan!” After that I met him several times at different places. The last time was at the Royal Albert Hall. We were doing a tribute to Elizabeth Taylor and we were all on stage together singing.’
The young Joan used to write to the stars of the time in the hope of a signed photo – and she’s withering about (unnamed) celebrities who she says don’t sign their own autographs. She went on to encounter many of the biggest names in showbusiness during her long career. Gene Kelly, star of Singin’ In The Rain, once told her never to do her own stunts ‘because it puts a stunt girl out of work’.
‘During the golden age of Hollywood, which I came into at the end, there was an agent called Sue Mengers. And she would have parties with everyone there – James Stewart, Elizabeth Taylor, Ryan O’Neal, Dudley Moore and Woody Allen. I saw Woody once as he was leaving and I said I’ve got to meet him because I’m a bit of a fan. So he’s just about to go out of the door and I’m wearing this very low-cut dress. “Mr Allen, Mr Allen, I just have to tell you how much I adore your work, it’s so wonderful.” He said, “Well thank you very much. But I’ve got to get out of here, I’m very, very shy.” I said, “Well actually, I’m shy too.” And he looked at my cleavage and said, “Well, you could have fooled me.”’
The actor Rupert Everett wrote in a recent memoir that he stood up a group of Hollywood producers one night because he wanted to have dinner with Joan instead. ‘Oh I think that’s one of the stories Rupert makes up!’ she laughs. ‘Like Julian Clary made up his story that he saved me from drowning in the South of France. He’s said it so many times! I said, “Julian, this is not true!” He said, “Well I know, but isn’t it a great story? You were in the swimming pool trying to get out of one of those rubber chairs and I helped you.” I said, “Yes, but I wasn’t drowning!”’
How much time do Joan and Percy spend at their five-bedroom villa in St Tropez? ‘Well, thanks to Mr Macron I can only spend 90 days there! And that’s for the whole of Europe! So if I go to Paris for the weekend, which I haven’t done since before Covid, I’m allowed 90 days, that’s it. And we have tons of friends who want to come and stay. I sometimes say that place is like a hotel, because I have this big board with who’s coming when: “Tara (Joan's daughter) is coming then, Biggins is coming then...” Christopher Biggins is one of my best pals.’
Will Joan say how she voted in the recent local elections? ‘No, but I’m sure you can guess! I don’t believe in actors getting on their podium and talking about politics. I have strong views about politics but I don’t share them because I don’t think it’s right.’ News junkie Joan says her favourite news channel is GB News, which includes Reform politicians among its presenters, so that might give us a clue.
She takes care of herself by eating well, doing Pilates and dancing. ‘I started dancing when I was three and I have a theory: use it or lose it. When I’m sick, like when I have the flu, and don’t do anything for a week or ten days, I’m really creaky. So I like to go back and exercise everything, even my hands and my eyes.’
With that she fixes her gaze on the far side of the dining room. ‘You look at something in the distance and concentrate on it for ten seconds; then you concentrate on something close to you. You do that three times and then you swing your eyes around: left, right, left, right!’
So could she still strut her stuff on Strictly? ‘No! I was asked ten years ago. My friend George Hamilton did it in America. He said whatever you do, don’t do it – you have to be a contortionist! Nobody over 40 should do it because if you fall and you break something, you’re sc **** d! But I love watching it! My daughter Katy and I watch it every single week.
‘I tell you what I would like to have been in – Downton Abbey! I’d like to have played the mother of Lady Grantham, who’s married to Hugh Bonneville’s character.’ That would have meant her appearing opposite Dame Maggie Smith. ‘I loved Maggie Smith! Wouldn’t that have been fun!’ laughs Dame Joan.
A Murder Between Friends will be available on digital (including Amazon, Apple TV, Sky Store) from 15 June (Plaion Pictures).
