BETWEEN THE COVERS : MR BLACKWELL'S WORST 30 YEARS OF FASHION..

As a regular posting I feature a book that had either Joan on the cover or mentioned inside.. This time it's a 1991 book by the acid tongue fashion critic Mr Blackwell.. Featuring 30 years of fashion fiasco's, Joan came to the beady eyed attention of Mr Blackwell in 1983, after Dynasty hit the heights.. For the year 1983, Joan topped the ten. Blackwell commented on the year...
" Flashdance made women resemble a brigade of bag-ladies with a fetish for shredded sweats. Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the mall, the return of the rag loomed on the horrified horizon. Miss Joan Collins who played the biggest bitch on television, was also the pinnacle of movie queen camp, Nolan Miller wise. Miss Collins made an onscreen comeback in the role of Alexis that rivaled Cleopatra's entrance into Rome, her jewels were mind-boggling. Off set everything about her was equally shocking. Her Flo Ziegfeld inspired evening dresses, with more glitz than the Ritz, buried her in more bombs than an old Eddie Fisher resume!
Here is the 1983 top ten..
1 - JOAN COLLINS - " Barely, bizarrely Hollywood!"
2- BARBRA STREISAND - " A boy version of Medusa!"
3- JOAN JETT - A Bronx Pochontas in black leather goes porn!"
4- JOAN RIVERS - " In borrowed rags she proves the House of Pancakes still has the best!"
5- TWIGGY - " Lady Godiva dressed for a Roman orgy!"
6- KOO STARK - "A fashion Frankenstein waiting at the palace gate!"
7- LAUREN TEWES - "A shipwrecked Tugboat Annie!"
8- DONNA MILLS - "Yesterday's draperies from the Roxy Theatre!"
9- OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN - " From toes to nose, a shredded tragedy!"
10- BOY GEORGE - " VICTOR/VICTORIA in bad drag!"

The following year, Joan made the list again, but fared a little better where she shared the number 5 spot with Dynasty co-star Diahann Carroll. Blackwell commented on 1984.. " So many fashion flops in 1984 and so few slots to slip them into for posterity's sake. In 84 forget Vogue and Women's Wear Daily, the new fashion bible was MTV, whose twenty four hour orgy of music videos, paved the role reversed road for the mass unisex eraze. Leather jackets, Marine cuts, torn jeans, chain link fence jewelry, outfits only suitable in dubious retreats indigenous to San Francisco were now spotted by girl scouts in broad daylight! " On Joan he commented. " Dynasty's Joan Collins and Diahann Carroll tied for fifth place, beautiful women in sequined travesties that parodied every chorus girl in her Saturday night worst. Hopeless!"
1- CHER - "A plucked cockatoo setting feminity back twenty years!"
2- MISS AMERICA SHARLENE WELLS - " Looks like an armadillo with cornpads!"
3- PATTI DAVIS - " Packs all the glamour of an old wornout sneaker!"
4- CYNDI LAUPER - "Looks like the San Francisco earthquake!"
5- DIAHANN CARROLL & JOAN COLLINS - "Two movie queens fighting for the 'tacky taste' crown of the forties!"
6- VICTORIA PRINCIPAL - "She is everyone's 'Yankee Doodle Dandy'!"
7- BARBRA STREISAND - "The Al Capone look with electrocuted hair!"
8- SALLY FIELD - " The Flying Nun takes a fashion dive!"
9- PAMELA BELLWOOD - " The living end of the endangered species!"
10- TWISTED SISTER & PRINCE - "One's a Mardi Gras nightmare, the other a toothpick wrapped in a purple doilie!"
Joan appeared on the list in 1985 and in 1987 ..the book only goes to 1990 so haven't got later lists to hand. Will feature 1985 and 1987 in next Sunday's posts!