BETWEEN THE COVERS : ROGERS PERSUADES JOAN TO HUMOUR TONY!

In 1971 Joan made a guest appearance on Roger's now cult series 'The Persuaders', which also starred Tony Curtis.. Joan's episode was entitled .. 'Five Miles To Midnight', she played an eccentric photographer called Sidonie ...In this excerpt from Roger's 2008 autobiography 'My Word Is My Bond', published by Collins, Roger remembers an incident on the set of the episode involving Joan and Tony Curtis.. 

JOAN FINDS TONY NOT SO HOT!

In 1970 Bob Baker started talking to Lew Grade about a TV show format featuring an English toff and an American boy come good. It was to be called 'The Friendly Persuaders'. Lew called me from New York, he wanted to see me at seven o'clock the following morning. I arrived at eight o'clock. Lew sat me down and said.. 'Roger, I've sold 'The Persuaders'.. With you in the lead.' The 'Friendly' part of 'The Persuaders' title was soon dropped. 'Lew! I said I didn't want to do it! You can't sell a programme with me in. it's immoral.' When I finally agreed to do the show, I have to be honest and say that I didn't want to commit to several series. It's true that the Bond producers had made overtures towards me and I didn't want to be tied to a three or four year TV contract. So I never signed a contract. I shook Lew's hand and said I would do one series and I honoured my word.

JOAN GET'S THE UPPER HAND AS TONY LOOKS ON!

We were to start filming in the South of France. After leaving hospital for a kidney stone operation, I stayed at a friend's house on Cap Ferrat, three doors down from David Niven and had a whole month to recuperate before filming started. Joan and Ron Kass came down to stay and it was a happy month of swimming and getting fit. Once Tony arrived we moved into the La Voile D'Or Hotel in St Jean Cap Ferrat. We had identical suites. I guess we filmed for two or three months, enough material for six or seven episodes. Basil Dearden and Val Guest were the two location directors. Logistically, it's quite difficult to shoot exteriors for half a dozen or so different episodes of a TV series, as you're only filming part of a storyline before moving on to the next episode. Then we all reconvened to Pinewood some time later to film the remainder of the episodes. Tony and I shared a caravan on location. But being a TV show, we couldn't afford the luxury of a fleet of trailers and so just had two.. One for Tony and me and the other for the guest star. Joan Collins and Robert Hutton were guest-starring in one episode and they took turns using the caravan to change. One afternoon Joan needed to use the loo and as Robert and his wife were chatting in the caravan between takes, she asked if they'd mind stepping out to allow her to use the facilities. Perfectly understandable. They readily agreed. At the moment that Joan asked, Tony was walking past the caravan and came rushing over to me. 'What is it with that woman? Robert Hutton. Robert Hutton! She told him to get out of the trailer. Can you believe it?' ... 'Tony, Tony.' I said.. 'Calm down. This is a TV show. We're all in it together. We turn up on time, we learn our lines, say them and then go home at 5.30. We don't make waves. We cash out cheques on Friday and we're all very happy.' .. 'Yes, dear sweet Roger. You're right. You're always right.' he replied..

JOAN WITH ROGER AND WIFE KRISTINA AND SON CHRISTIAN

Roll on twenty minutes. We were filming on the side of a mountain, trying to evade some Italian crooks in the story and we, in character, all took a breather by sitting on some rocks. The special effects chap came over and explained that there were going to be a few charges detonating, simulating gunfire. 'Where?'. asked Joan. 'Oh! Goddam leading lady!', said Tony, springing to his feet an mimicking a female voice. 'Where is there going to be an explosion?', he piped. ' Oh, my god! Oh, my god!' .. 'Tony! Stop it', I reasoned. 'It's perfectly logical that if an explosion is going to go off near a lady's backside, she would like to know exactly where. We've all been in explosions that have got a bit too close for comfort and we've all seen people injured.'
'Yes, Roger, dear sweet Roger. You're right', he said. A few days later, I had a late call on set and was able to see my family off at the airport in Nice, for their return to London. The location was nearby and when I arrived back there was nothing happening. The whole crew was sitting around playing cards and Joan was sitting in a chair under a large tree. I thought it very odd. Then Tony appeared. 'Dear Roger', he said, looking somewhat bashful. 'I let you down.' I asked him what he had done. 'I called Joan a C**t!'.. 'That's not very nice, Tony.' I said. I walked off to find her. Joan leapt up when she saw me.. She told me what he called her! 'Yeah', added her husband Ron Kass.. 'He called Joan a C**t'.
Eventually I discovered that Tony and Joan had been in a truck together, filming a sequence where they drive down a very bumpy, rocky path and come to a halt on the dry riverbed, under a bridge. Unfortunately they drove a little too far and missed their mark. 'Can we go again, please, ' said the director. With that Joan got out of the truck and started walking. 'Where are you going?' Tony shouted after her. 'I'm going to walk up to the starting point.' .. 'Goddamn chicken-shit actresses!' Tony added. 'I'll walk up, you drive the truck back up', replied Joan. Tony drove the truck, muttering all the way about women and actresses. He reached the start point and Joan hopped in. 'You know what, Joan?' he said. 'You're a C**t!'... The truck rolled down the path, came to a thundering halt and Joan wound down the window and shouted to the director, what he had called her..She refused to film anymore, where is where I came in, to smooth things over and get everyone back to work. 'The Persuaders' was a huge hit everywhere except America, where we were programmed against 'Mission Impossible'.. Lew was keen to try a second season, he thought we could still pull round the American audiences. I was not keen though. We had created a successful format and had made twenty four great show, we should rest on our laurels!
(c) 2008 .. ROGER MOORE ...