ON THE COVER : MR BLACKWELL'S WORST ..30 YEARS OF FASHION FIASCOS .. PART 2!

Last week I featured excerpts from "Mr Blackwell's Worst..30 Years of Fashion Fiascos", and looked at the years 1983 and 1984 .. This week we look at 1985 and 1987...

1985 ...

"The Miami Vice look for men and women was the pastel-hued news in fashion for the trendy television set..The fad lasted longer that is had any right to! It was enough to make anyone with an allergy to sherbet quite unhappy, indeed. While the no sock look managed to optimize the life of leisure, it is worth noting that Odor Eaters gained widespread popularity during this low-point in fashion history.. What Typhoid Mary was to hygiene, Madonna was to fashion..Deadly!! The queen of the cul-de-sac, "Knot's Landing's" Michele Lee had competition Lisa Hartman for worst dressed nighttime soap star- both were wipeouts in the worst way. Michele was a symphony of black knit while navel baring Lisa made Madonna look like Loretta Young! Joan Collins edged them out - something to do with more experience! Whoopi Goldberg was thrilled to be on the list, Believe me I was only doing my job! Whoopi weas Harpo Marx in dreadlocks, smock and Reeboks. Like Harpo, everyone else was speechless!

1- PRINCESS STEPHANIE -  " Her Royal unisex wardrobe entitles her to use either bathroom!"
2- JOAN COLLINS - "One more pushup and she'll have three chins!"
3- MADONNA - " Skid Row's nomination for a poverty-party centerpiece contest!"
4- TINA TURNER - " Some women dress for men.. some dress for women.. some dress for laughs!"
5- MICHELE LEE - " Look's like King Kong's mother-in-law. Thank heavens spring has sprung.. Now she can wear a lighter shade of black!"
6- WHOOPI GOLDBERG - " A cover girl for the Sharecropper's Monthly!"
7- CYBILL SHEPHERD - " Fashion's number one embarrasment - sneaky sneakers and a plunging neckline. Looks like a turkey on it's way to slaughter!"

8- LISA HARTMAN - " A reject from the Shah's harem. Now she can remake Scheherazade! Hair by Spikey!"
9- APOLLONIA - "  Living proof that every prince needs his jester. Big Bird bites the dust!"
10- HEATHER THOMAS - " An exploding overstuffed cabbage!"

1987....

What hell hath the physical fitness craze wrought? Spandex was everywhere, like a particularly unsettling invasion of body-snatchers addicted to rubberized rubbish! Other dubious fads of 1987 included washed out denim..Tammy Faye Baker brought back the trowel to apply her Cabaret like eye makeup. Tammy's rhinestone ensembles made K-Mart look like Bergdorf's! "Dynasty's" Joan Collins, who had spent a lifetime being compared to Elizabeth Taylor, now had the distinction of looking worse than Taylor. With hugh ruffled skirts that accentuated all the wrong bulges, low cut evening disasters that would have embarassed Mae West and Cleopatra makeup, Joan was as stylish as an overstuffed scarecrow!"
1- LISA BONET - " Dracula's idea of a good time!"
2- DIANE KEATON - " A bag lady after winning the lottery!"

3- JUSTINE BATEMAN - " A painfully stuffed sausage, unmercifully squashed in a tired old Esther Williams bathing suit!"
4- CYNDI LAUPER & CHER - " Minsky's rejects, still trying!"
5- PRINCESS STEPHANIE - " A gender bender fashion frump - heaven help the monarchy!"
6- SHELLEY LONG - " From toes to nose... A comedy of errors!"
7- JOAN COLLINS - " Dressed to chill .. Should be playing Baby Jane in a rib joint!"
8- SALLY KELLERMAN - " A bad drag before surgery!"
9- MEG RYAN - " Dainty Meg ... The rag bag doll of the year!"
10- SONIA BRAGA & SUSAN SULLIVAN - " Fahion disasters of the shah's harem!"