Thursday, August 29, 2024

PRESS UPDATE : THE SPECTATOR ... AUGUST 30TH 2024 ...

 


Joan Collins

Do I have too many friends?


Can one have too many friends? I asked myself this question as we prepared yet another dinner party for ten people, at which I ate and drank far too much as usual. Forget bikini body – it’s kaftan time in Saint Tropez at the moment for me. We’ve been at our villa in the South of France for nearly three months this summer and during that time we have hosted 34 guests, who stayed anywhere between three days and two weeks. We’ve hosted two daughters, one son, in-laws and cousins, several dozen friends and one baby granddaughter, and they have kept Percy and me on our social toes. But we really truly enjoy it, as most of the time the majority of our guests know how to behave in other people’s homes.


However, some most definitely do not. Throughout the three decades of tenure in my quiet and beautiful Provençal villa, there have been a few standout bad-mannered oafs who will never be invited back. One memorable ex-friend arrived from New York with a duffel bag. Emptying it on to the kitchen floor, out spilled a grubby selection of shorts, socks and shirts. ‘See that they get washed and ironed,’ he demanded of my minimal staff, then poured himself a large serving of red wine into a glass and proceeded to head down to the pool. ‘Uh, sorry, but we only use plastic glasses down by the pool,’ I called after him. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t spill it,’ he called back insouciantly over his shoulder. Half an hour later, I discovered him lying in the pool on a lilo, nursing the wine and chatting away to a nubile young guest, regaling her with exaggerated tales of New York life. ‘If that red wine spills, or heaven forfend the glass breaks, we’ll have to empty the pool to clean it,’ I admonished. ‘Oh, you’re such a nag,’ he replied, whereupon he tried to get off the lilo and spilled the entire contents into the pool.


Then there was the guest who was called away from the pool to take a phone call, in the days before mobile phones. He proceeded to tramp through the house soaking wet, and took a half-hour phone call while he dripped all over my pristine office. This same ex-friend also consumed a considerable amount of the grape during his time, but when one of my friends suggested they visit the local winery to replenish my dwindling stock, he snorted: ‘It’s OK. She’s still got two or three bottles left.’ A more recent guest requested freshly laundered towels in her bathroom every day. ‘What am I, the Ritz?’ I quipped.

My French is rusty, to say the least, thanks in part to a very strict French teacher at Francis Holland who absolutely insisted on teaching how to grammatically conjugate and recite our verbs before we even attempted conversational French. Thus, I am adept at je suis, vous êtes etc etc, but hopeless at carrying on a cheery chat with the gardener. I was informed that someone had left a package for me at the local pharmacy. When I struggled to explain this to the owner in my fractured Français, she shook her head, looked puzzled and said: ‘Je ne comprend pas.’ I tried again to explain: ‘Je m’appelle Joan Collins. Y a-t-il un… erm, package… pour moi?’ ‘Que?’ she asked, doing a fair imitation of Manuel from Fawlty Towers. Joan Collins! Je suis. Vous avez une… livraison… pour moi?’ I whispered urgently as a line formed behind me. I looked helplessly back at my three non-French-speaking pals, as several people in the queue smirked. ‘Je ne comprend pas,’ the chemist said firmly – and just as I was about to beat a hasty retreat, a charming Frenchman bellowed ‘Elle est Joan Collins!’ and proceeded to explain to the sorcerer’s apprentice what I was asking for. ‘Ah! No. Il n’y a rien ici,’ she said, briskly saying that no package had been waiting for me. Crestfallen, I strolled out trying to look cool, while the Gallic gang smiled knowingly and my pals giggled.

I’ve read so many books while we’ve been here, and it seems that the older they are, the more interesting I find them. Modern novels lack pace, characterisation and description – all of which I use liberally in my novels and articles. ‘It’s not modern,’ says my agent. ‘We need more angst and fewer adjectives.’ ‘Well, you won’t get that from me,’ I replied. ‘There’s enough angst in the world without me adding to it.’ So now I’ve turned to Dickens and Steinbeck to enthrall me. At least the angst has a purpose. I may even give Jeffrey Archer a whirl when I finish Cannery Row.


Joan Collins’s one-woman show Behind the Shoulder Pads is at the Adelphi Theatre on 22 October.


Wednesday, August 21, 2024

EVENT UPDATE : MASSIMO GARGIA BIRTHDAY PARTY... HOTEL DE PARIS .. ST TROPEZ.. AUGUST 20TH 2024 ..


One of Joan's very good friends is international playboy Massimo Gargia and every year he holds a big bash for his birthday in St Tropez which Joan regularly attends. This year the lavish party was held at Hotel De Paris St Tropez.

Joan with brother Bill..




 

Thursday, August 15, 2024

PRESS UPDATE : THE TELEGRAPH LIFESTYLE .. AUGUST 14TH 2024 ..

 Lifestyle Fashion People and profiles

Joan Collins has the best holiday style you’ll see this summer

The glamorous Hollywood icon has been at the forefront of French Riveria style for decades – and she shows no signs of slowing down...



If you’re lucky enough to have received an invitation to Joan Collins’ home in the south of France, where she spends her summers, prepare to raise your style game.

The actress sets a high bar for her guests, among them Elizabeth and Damian Hurley. Even during her downtime, Dame Joan’s unrivalled commitment to glamour recalls the elegance and charm that first lured celebrities to the French Riviera in the 1960s.

This is well documented on her Instagram feed (along with husband Percy Gibson’s attempts to hang fairy lights from the olive trees) with posts that are far more inspiring and joy-inducing than any Gen-Z-er’s bikini selfie..

Of course, Dame Joan has been visiting the Riviera for decades, so she knows the style formula well. It begins with a wide-brimmed hat because you don’t get a complexion this youthful at 90-plus by risking sun damage.

Damian Hurley, Elizabeth Hurley, Joan Collins and Percy Gibson


Then there’s the makeup – always a defined, bright, glossy lip – and a gravity-defying blow-dry of which Dynasty’s Alexis Carrington (Collins’ most famous role) would be proud. No hairstylist around? No problem, sweep it under the hat. She has an alternative solution in the form of a silk headscarf and visor – far more practical when spending the day on a yacht, darling.

The other accessories are important too: Chanel or Gucci sunglasses, obviously, the bigger and bolder the better. In one recent post, she is seen in a rhinestone-studded pair, because there’s no such thing as too much bling in Dame Joan’s world. Sometimes she’ll add Chanel earrings too, or a smattering of Van Cleef & Arpels’ Alhambra jewellery. A chilled glass of rosé goes without saying – this is the woman who declared “rose season officially open” in an ad for M&S in May. She is, as Gen-Z would say, “so extra”.

Nobody could accuse her of being stuck in the past, either. A pair of of-the-moment sports sunglasses tend to look try-hard on most people, but Collins somehow carries them off with ease.

It’s the resort wear that really brings the look together though: kaftans by Missoni and Roberto Cavalli, dresses with frilled Bardot necklines (a great way to show a little skin without looking overexposed), a tan-enhancing palette of blue, white and violet, and some leopard print for good measure. Every outfit is thoughtfully coordinated.

“The look is dramatic in every way, there’s nothing understated,” says personal stylist Annabel Hodin. “Big hats, large sunglasses, smokey eyes and bright lipstick.”

And this is no bad thing: “She is wearing the clothes, not the other way around,” Hodin adds. “She’s not afraid of looking desirable. Feminine, off-the-shoulder dresses move nicely and flatter her figure, so she looks comfortable and confident.” 

Big hats, large sunglasses and bright lipstick are key to Dame Joan's look


Then again, you’d expect nothing less from a woman who’s been known to travel with 12 Louis Vuitton trunks, all sent ahead to ensure a smooth journey. She’s not suffering from a lack of options.

There’s an art to assembling the kind of wardrobe that can take you from Club 55 Saint-Tropez to the local flea market. Given that we’re still waiting for an invite to chez Collins-Gibson, there’s plenty of time to work it out.

San Tropez, 2013 Credit: Getty




Saturday, August 10, 2024

EVENT ALERT : BEHIND THE SHOULDER PADS FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY! LIMITED TICKETS LEFT! .. OCTOBER 22ND.. ADELPHI THEATRE LONDON...



Book now for Joan's One Night Only appearance on The Strand at The Adelphi with her hit show 'Behind The Shoulder Pads', back by popular demand.. Audiences loved it.. Watch the video below and book your tickets at the following link....